Thank you. I think that was me who described it as a "sucking vortex of need"... I say that often and I think I posted it in the "what embarrasses you the most" thread.

I am trying to use CBT to challenge the negative thoughts, I'm thinking things like "I have no friends" and "nobody cares" and "I will always feel like this" but I know it's the depression making me think this.

I can't tell which is normal - whether I'm manic or depressed, I'm self-centered. I guess mania lends itself to that. I told a friend about how I didn't like being so self-centered and she said "but we love you anyway." And then she got busy and we've barely spoken or seen each other since. Pretty much everyone who supported me through my last depression is gone and it's so easy to tell myself I'm just too hard to be with. Even the one friend I thought I was close with backed off and said "I don't know what to say."

Thanks for your support.