You are making many sacrifices for your son, and that in itself is commendable, whether those efforts come to fruition or not. If you hurt yourself, you know deep down that that is not helping your son at all. In fact, if you accidentally get a big injury from self-harm, that could impair your ability to care for your son. I can only imagine how scary being an only parent is, but if you have been brave enough to take on the challenge, then I believe you are brave enough to do what is best for yourself.
As an anonymous internet user (and a teen no less), I cannot tell you how to manage your finances. I can only offer my full support and best wishes to you and your son, which I am currently doing.
- AJ