I have a cat that was found as a kitten on a shelf in my next door neighbor's garage. My neighbors were in their 80s (now 90s) and already had two cats and cried because they couldn't figure out where she came from and couldn't keep her and were going to have to take her to the pound. I couldn't stand to see this adorable animal go to the pound nor to see my neighbor, whom I love, cry



but my kitten was mostly feral but desperately wanted love at the same time; she cried to be touched but ran if you reached out or moved suddenly. I took her to the vets and the too-small plastic flea collar was taken off and she was covered in fleas and had worms, etc. She was/is very "sensitive" and had trouble with what she could eat. She turned out to be clingy and I'm allergic so I got another kitten :-) a month younger than she, to keep her company. She tried very hard to kill him. Now they are 5-1/2 years old and tolerate one another well :-)

I made the same promises you did Wants2fly, to keep her safe. I named her after my great grandmother whom I never knew but wish I did/is my favorite relative. I wish I had been named after her. But now I live in a tiny townhouse and am retired and my husband wants to do a lot of long-term travel. I love my kitties and whenever I think of the relatives I "could" give them to who would like them (especially the "other" kitty who couldn't be any sweeter) I just can't do it. No one particularly wants my little girl because she's not "easy" and friendly. But I identify with her. . .

My mother died/"abandoned" me when I was 3. I believe we work things through with our dreams, our pets, with each person we meet. I use to dream about cockroaches all the time and cleaning my old apartment in the City I lived in from 1973-1986. Over and over; it only went away recently, was related to therapy. Last week I dreamed about bugs but they were mostly silverfish :-) and the feeling I use to have when I dreamed about the roaches wasn't there. I still don't know what "the" dream was about (it was always slightly different, wasn't a recurring dream, just similar "items" and scenario), am glad it is gone, but I'm strangely glad too that I had it all those years?

Don't have a clue where I'm going with this Wants2fly :-) but I think I understand. I hope you work something through, figure something out, get left alone instead of having the horrible dreams. I think if they were mine I'd do a little yelling at the old boyfriend for leaving you and giving the dog away and a little forgiving of myself for "breaking" my promise to keep the dog safe. We're not gods and we did love the animals and keep them safe when they were in our care but, like children, they have their own destiny? Early in my care of the cat I knew from 1986-2000, I feel I was abusive. During our long relationship together, I was working in therapy with the issues I had with my abusive stepmother. Toward the end of my cat's life I "knew" he had come into my life for a reason and what a blessing he was. I don't think your wonderful puppy died "in vain"?