I wasn't sure where to post this but I decided to post it here because I have had panic attacks about this before. I'm really, really scared and I don't know what to do. I just hope I'm wrong. Every minute of the day I think to myself there's nothing more I want than to be wrong about this. And common sense tells me I am probably wrong, but I just don't feel right and it's so hard to describe.

The first time I thought I was dead, if I'm not mistaken, was when I was 15 (I'm only 16 now, so not that long ago). I think it was July 28, 2012. Somewhere around that time. I'll post more detail in the next post.