I think I know what you're talking about. I call it the ugly sludge feeling. Kind of like acid waste that's bubbling slowly?

And hey you can always talk to me you definitely don't make me feel helpless!

Last but not least, life is a really long journey and insight into the future is always hard to find. But you are never weak for choosing to live your life however you please. Whatever you're contemplating on choosing what you want to become, know that you can always change--nothing if final (that's what a midlife crisis is for haha). Even if some options close others will open and lead you to the way you were meant to live your life Life has always had a funny way of branching and circling and you will eventually find what you need but don't be afraid to change your course.

and here is an interesting quote about futures:
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” -Sylvia Plath