Hmmm, well, I am not clear on why he thinks telling you the plan to ease your disclosure would be counterproductive. I would not like my therapist talking like that. I've found with her an important part of talking through trauma is having a sense of control, and similarly for difficult childhood experiences so that you can make the new experience safer-feeling and healing compare to the original experience.

I'm sure it varies a lot, but my life was painfully impacted by disclosure: I felt unsettled for days. I cried, I stressed, I was extremely anxious, panicky, unhappy, etc. I think some of that is unavoidable, but that there are coping techniques that help.

I think it really comes down to your comfort level with him. Do you trust him? Deeply? Is he going to be available between sessions? What is the plan for all the feelings that are stirred up if or when he is not available?

Many people, myself included, have done therapy without asking these questions initially, I'm not saying one can't, but....

I think you deserve to have a way to know that you are going to treat yourself well and get through a difficult experience with a little more structure than when you first had the experience.