Okay so obviously my words didn't seem to come out right in my post before so I am very sorry about that. But I also speak from my own personal experience about movement and depression so I don't appreciate being called ignorant. Of course depression affects us all in different ways but before you continue to say I'm obviously stupid about this sort of issue I'm going to share a little bit more about me and hopefully this will make what I was trying to say clearer.

When I was in junior high I literally felt like chewed gum stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe. I hated myself, I hated my friends, and a lot of the time I hated my parents and the rest of my family. Sure, I lashed out verbally and embarrassed my family in plenty of situations but I was also still bound in place by the basic rules my family had set before. Because I knew if I didn't comply with the basics I would receive hell for it. It was a guilt trip up situation because even if I didn't feel like going anywhere, if I didn't, neither would they and instead of being harassed and misunderstood, I would drag my feet to every event I was forced to go to. My situation was very precarious but the enforced rules at least kept me moving. Discipline and love went hand in hand when I was growing up and even though I hated it at the time it kept me from drowning out for quite a while. If I had the audacity to kick and scream harder than I did I would have been beaten within one inch of my life. And in a way it was good for me. I learned manners, how to deal with people even when I hate them, how to control my outward emotions until no one could tell anything was wrong. But in a way it was also setting me up for failure later on (but that is for another time).

But you know what really saved me? Going abroad. I got a chance to travel with a group of other students without any of my family around. It was a growing experience in a way that I can't really explain because it differs between everyone but it taught me about different cultures, different types of people, and most importantly, what it's like to be alone with people you don't really know well. When you're not with people you trust and who love you, the world is a very different place as I'm sure you're aware. It cleared my head in ways you can't even imagine and I came home much more... settled? I don't know how to describe it. But regardless it did help me and I was hoping that a basic structure and a break from the norm would be a good idea (at least it was for me). But I think the most important thing I want to emphasize is the fact that, while my parents helped fix the problem, they were definitely a bigger part of the problem and to start the healing and growing up process I needed to start fresh. It gave me a different outlook on life. It showed me what the future might look like. Depression is an angry curse that dissolves you from the inside out and the worst thing for me is to let it idle. The more things I have to do, the less time I have to hate myself alone in my room listening to angsty music with thoughts of cutting and suicide in my head. And eventually, with such a huge list of things you've done, you start to value yourself in other ways. For me keeping busy, especially when I didn't want to do anything except wait for death, being forced to go to things and experience it anyway was the best thing. And that holds true even now. Your family cannot always fix you. The people that love you cannot always fix you. And in growing in new and different ways I have really learned the value of breaks away from people and environments that have a lot of negative emotions attached (even if there is a lot of positive).

I'm not telling them to send him to bootcamp--in fact that is a terrible idea. What I was aiming more for was a summer camp where there are lots of people and a set schedule. Perhaps something he was/is particularly interested in. Music camps are always cool and drama camps are great too. Of course, it would probably be good to just get him to go to a depression support group for kids his age as well. Anywhere that can keep him actively engaged in a positive way is great. And what I meant by the farm hand thing was more about exercise--sorry if that came across the wrong way (I've always wanted to try helping out on a farm which is why it ended up being mentioned). And of course it won't fix him, because in the end it's he himself that needs to grow but it doesn't look like home is working either and now everyone has ended up stressed out. Fixing him isn't the issue--there isn't anything crazy wrong with him (asides from the potential stalking of a girl), but he's in a mental rut and sometimes a change of view and pace can help.

Staying at home isn't a bad thing but I was just giving them an option. And believe me, if she's posting on this forum this mother definitely cares for her son but she's so emotionally drained from trying and failing and trying and failing it's even bringing down her own self-worth. This lady is trying her best and is at her wits end because I don't know about you but the worst thing for a mother is watching her kid suffer and not being able to help/not knowing how to help. She may be able to catch him from falling but she may not be the one to lift him up in the end.

And also, how dare you say that she has no right to give up on him. People are people. My father gave up on my entire family. My uncle had his kids backstab him and leave with their mother. My friend's mom doesn't even talk to her daughter anymore because she didn't agree with who she married. There are plenty of families, including mine, who have been broken due to lesser things because it is their choice in the end and instead of pushing her upward with encouragement to support him you are tearing her down by showing her that she doesn't care enough to what? be able to fix him? It's like a slap in the face. Just because people need a break doesn't mean they're giving up. It's the same with depression. Just because I'm exhausted and can barely leave my room on some days after 3pm does not mean I'm giving up.

I am not trying to invalidate your experiences with depression because everyone is different and their family situations are as well but I was just trying to bring a my viewpoint to the table. Which isn't dumb at all.