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Old Mar 06, 2007, 12:12 PM
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lenjan lenjan is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2004
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Completely out of the clear blue sky today, my officemate asked me if I was happy. I said no, but chalked it up to being homesick and, at the moment, wildly hormonal, which never helps my mood.

What I don't know is how to say "no, I'm not happy, and you're contributing to it." He's a zealous reformed fat person (has lost 85 lbs.) and is constantly harping on me about what I eat, my need to join him in exercising, etc. (You can check out my photos in the gallery to see why this bugs me.) It's only mildly better than living with my sister because I only have to see the guy 8 hours a day (which is still plenty).

I have taken to eating in my car so he won't harass me about it. I'm eating everything in sight anyway these days, but sneak-eating is always a sign of total out of control-ness. I'm obsessing about my hematologist appointment today partly because I'll have to get on the scale and I know I have gained probably 10-15 lbs. since I last saw him in December. I eat because I'm bored and lonely and sad and frankly, at this point, to spite people, but it's only making ME miserable.

I checked around and found a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, though I'm not sure I qualify as having one -- I think this is emotionally-based and that at most I need a quick hit of therapy for the low-level depression. I just feel bad enough about myself and my actions without having somebody bug me about it all the time. Periodically he asks if anything he does really bugs me, but I never have the courage to say so. Anybody got any ideas? We are the only two people in the office and I don't need to make myself any more uncomfortable than I already am.

Candy
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