Melania, if you nose around the sites in my post #54, there are links to several books about sex in therapy. Though you describe a relationship that stopped short of sex, it sounds eroticized.

One author, Susan Penfold, was a therapist herself who got pulled into a sexual relationship. Another writer was the wife of a psych professional. Everyone describes the experience as extremely layered, contradictory and confusing.
TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line

Whether you want to do anything now, I dearly urge you go to information about what's happening, through correspondence with therapyabuse.org/, through reading. The conflicts and confusion you describe is shared by others. Truly.

You're not to blame, no matter who you are and what you did. (And I could never learn a foreign language as well as your excellent English.)