My volunteering was with peers and that made a big difference, a more reciprocal relationship was enabled and I gained more insight into the similarities and beauties of my peers.

Also, I was referring to structured AA type support groups, sorry I wasn't clear- they had a lot of tools and practices that were helpful.

Still, if what you're looking for is, as you say, undivided attention, attachment, and love (definitely possible, my therapist loves me) you may just need a different therapist. You're right, hard to find that specifically outside of therapy, though I've had some good experiences with mentors and teachers, but certainly not at the same level of depth.

You know, sometimes finding a good therapist just takes a few tries. I've seen five in my life now, two were wonderful, three, not. And one of those two, I could only see for a few months, so sometimes it's just a matter of keeping trying.

Also, just wait til you fall in love, you're going to find a lot of that attachment and love and attention that you want. Not in the same way as therapy, but a stabilizing, healing way too. Choosing to fall in love was one of the best things I ever did for my mental health.