Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123
My volunteering was with peers and that made a big difference, a more reciprocal relationship was enabled and I gained more insight into the similarities and beauties of my peers.
Also, I was referring to structured AA type support groups, sorry I wasn't clear- they had a lot of tools and practices that were helpful.
Still, if what you're looking for is, as you say, undivided attention, attachment, and love (definitely possible, my therapist loves me) you may just need a different therapist. You're right, hard to find that specifically outside of therapy, though I've had some good experiences with mentors and teachers, but certainly not at the same level of depth.
You know, sometimes finding a good therapist just takes a few tries. I've seen five in my life now, two were wonderful, three, not. And one of those two, I could only see for a few months, so sometimes it's just a matter of keeping trying.
Also, just wait til you fall in love, you're going to find a lot of that attachment and love and attention that you want. Not in the same way as therapy, but a stabilizing, healing way too. Choosing to fall in love was one of the best things I ever did for my mental health.  |
I've seen six different therapists thus far in my nineteen years...none were helpful, although one might have been helpful if I'd stuck it out with her and been willing to do the work. But it was CBT, so it probably wouldn't have
solved the problem, and I was only fifteen, so I can be excused for my lack of effort. I didn't want to learn how to change my thoughts and behaviors. I really just wanted that T to be my mom.
I have a mentor that I just met today, actually, but we're embarking on that relationship...but my fear is maybe that I'm using therapy as a crutch. I feel like I won't be able to handle this relationship maturely and appropriately without more therapy. (Possibly because former teacher/mentor told me I was using her as a therapist and she would have to end our relationship if I didn't go back to seeing a therapist. I went back to seeing a therapist. She ended our relationship anyway.) I'm scared that I wouldn't be able to handle a romantic relationship without
a lot more therapy, but I feel like therapy is also what's stopping me from entering that relationship, because it's making me feel way more screwed up than I actually am. I mean, I feel really, really screwed up. I always have, though - I think even before I started serious therapy.