Thanks everyone. I talked to my T today (with my husband by my side) and even though I was sobbing uncontrollably she kept reiterating that I was a child who was only doing what I was taught. She had to keep telling me that we don't know what REALLY happened because my brother was too much of a coward to tell me what may, or may not have happened. I was thinking the worst of the worst and couldn't see anything else. I was VERY cloudy headed. At times I had to have her ask questions over and over again because my mind was so busy that I, literally, couldn't hear her.
I think I should add that I have had about 9 hours of sleep the past few days, even with ALL of my meds. Meds that would knock the average person out for 10-12 hours.
So, the lack of sleep, the exhaustion, the dissociating that I did....it fueled my fire and honestly don't know what I would have done if it weren't for her and my husband being there...reminding me to breathe, reminding me that I am NOT the person I was as a helpless, defenseless child.
*sigh* I feel better now!!!