today from mental health team.said if i needed it i could go earlier. which is great. i had myself psyched up for19th march. the phine call scared the crap outta me, seriously. this is it. i have to spill my gutsto someone i dont know so they can assess me and decide who to put me with, psychologist, psychiatrist, nurse fekkin joe bloggs -

i am so scared. full of this 'oh yea i'm gonna talk to someone at last and resolve my issues' get rid of the baggage.

i have to relive all that %#@&#!, worries me, don't wanna be a wreck. already a wreck thinking about it.

they might think i'm a total freak, other people have worse things happen to em. then i know that's silly cos tht's why i'm going. i feel so bad today. i have been given more iazapam, but they don't seem tobeworkingon anxiety attacks. went to see doc today and hesays this is normal for high dose of prozac.

I CANT COPE. FEELA SCREWED UP AS I EVER DID

FEK.

JINNY XXXX