I know there are gobs of websites out there describing what BPD is out there. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and dove headfirst into researching what it was and how to help myself. 3 years later (and no therapy) I'm still lost as day one and struggling with why I can't just make myself better.

So can someone just tell me what it is without the psychobabbly ******** because I'm sick of reading all of that. What is it to you? How do you help yourself? Is it an actual mental illness or is it like being an asshat and you can totally change it? What makes one more likely to get such issue I guess? Its all questions I can find online, but it's so overwhelming I'd prefer to hear from people who can understand where I am coming from not somebody who is looking at it from the outside and based off research and such. I want to know the real life facts about BPD, not just the bulleted lists on websites where you still feel like the biggest freak ever.

Most of all I am really trying to finally have a go at feeling better. My life is in a really good spot right now and I want to keep it that way. I know how easily I slip back into the vicious cycle of the self abuse etc.