This is rational, and logical and what you truly want/need. It's also where I think you need to honestly look at yourself and determine what was right, what was manipulative and what prevented you from asking for what you want / need so there's a better chance in the future that it won't happen again.

Maybe she would have. Maybe you idealized her, put her on a pedestal, thought she could provide you the love and attention and could be accepting of you and now you're realizing she is human. At some point all of us who idealize people are going to be faced with the realization these people we idealize are human.

this is illogical, and where you need to accept what has occurred. What about your behavior got you to this point. What can you change, so you have a better chance it won't occur in the future. There is manipulation on your part that got you to this point, and if you really analyze the situation you may find a consistent pattern of behavior that has occurred with others in the past.

The moral of this story is be honest with yourself, determine / find your pattern of behavior so you can be aware of it in the future and fight the urge to do what comes naturally to you and all of us.

I'm correct in what I say, I see the patterns in myself, and fight the urge to avoid them, unfortunately knowing this doesn't make me successful. I'm relatively close to your age, and to an extent I believe it's more difficult for us because these behaviors are so ingrained in us and through the years we've or at least me have become more jaded. I do believe if dbt had been around in my late teens or early 20's I'd be more different than what I am today.

That's why anyone in their late teens or early 20's who may read this if you have the opportunity to take dbt.. do it!