You so aptly expressed how I feel right now with staring at the walls and wondering if this is what I must resign to feeling for the next 20-30 years. I feel that same way, and the fear and hopelessness is so crushing. I try to do little things to remind myself that I was once strong and vital and alive.

This can't be all there is. There is light even though we don't really believe that. Even typing it, I am like, yeah right this sucks, but it has been better. Depression is soul-sucking. But you keep fighting.