I know what you mean about the "smokescreen of normalcy". I had it in my life until I started going to therapy, and realized how messed up I really was. I kind of freaked out because I thought I had done a good job of rising above that, of handling my past better than that, and of not being like one of "those" people who are really messed up and have tons of life-long struggles because of their past. Yeah, what was really going on was that I pretended things were okay. And that allowed me to become outwardly "successful" while inwardly falling apart to the point of being suicidal.

Can you trust your T to know how to heal you? Therapy isn't just about insight. I also have a ton of insight. Therapy is about experiencing a different relationship that shows you and teaches you that things can be different. You can learn how to adequately convey your wants and needs. You can learn to relate to others as equals. You can learn to have a truly happy life. But you have to trust that your T knows what she is doing.