I recently did something stupid and I know it. I hate may elder it. I loathe myself and wish I were dead. I hurt someone's feelings and I should have thought before I did it. I can't take it back and I will never respect or feel the same wa about myself again.

I literally hate myself an cannot stop thinking of how I should punish myslef. I'm sitting here at work just typing this on my phone, because I can't think of anythig else.

I'm not the person I thought I was or the person I want to be. I can't take it back. I don't know how to move on, and only know that I hate the person I am and who I have become.

Worst is that I want to starve myself or cut myself because I deserve it. I deserve to hurt bc I hurt someone else, deeply. I don't deserve to feel good about who I am. I'm inconsiderate and selfish and I don't know how to move on. I'm trying so hard not to self harm. I have never even done it (deeply or bad) before. I feel like it might help.