sorry to hear you are struggling that badly.

But I have a feeling you are not pathetic. You have a job. That means they WANT you as an employee. Thus you must have some value to that company. Thus, you can not be pathetic.

And dispite your depression - you got up, you got dressed and drove to work. That shows some character. Because I know how hard it is to go to work when you are feeling dark.

I hope you look in your mirror and see the person that GOD loves. Just as you are. Just as you are.