Organized, traditional and congregational religion does not work for me either. I'm basically a deist but I draw from Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism and Christianity. I believe in a number of deities who guide me, help me, watch over me and keep me going. When things seemed totally lost, somehow I received completely unexpected help from the strangest sources. I keep going if for no other reason than to not be ungrateful to the deities for their efforts and help.