we used to text all the time, now we dont speak to each other after what happened. or at least , she is not really trying to talk to me.

March 15th was the day that was supposed to be a happy one. I had the privilege of being in a wedding, I was the maid of honor. but that was to much for me and i just didn't know it yet. so i bought my dress and shoes but yet they sit in my closet..... i stare at them and wish so bad that i was able to be there, to support her on the biggest day of her life. instead, i was in mental hospital because i couldn't handle myself anymore. i lost it and when i came back i found that i was even more lost and alone then when i went in. whether she will understand of not, i didnt mean to hurt her. heck, i wanted more then anything , to be there for her. i love her and miss our friendship. I'm not sure i'll ever be the same person i was before but i still need my friends and i need to know that she cares and that it's only because she is busy being someone's wife now.

.
I just don't want bad feelings and i want her to understand me and support me.

I just feel like i'm being left behind, all my past friends are either to afraid to say something to me or they don't care or maybe they just don't understand.

I'm scared that the friendship i've work so hard to build with this person, is gone now because of me and my stupid depression.

I just want my life back.