Bazzinga, sorry you are hurting so much.

Have you tried writing a letter explaining it all? A letter is a little more personal.

Some people are afraid of what they do not understand. There will be times in your life when you have to be your own best friend. I have much difficulty making friends at all, let alone keeping them.

Sorry your depression is causing you so much hurt. You can find much help and support here at PC. But, it is so nice to have a face-to-face friend.

I have been depressed longer than I can remember. One day I decided that I do not deserve to have this illness. My depression is like a monster hanging on me constantly. I tell myself that this monster will not win. I am going to win.

Hugs to you my friend. I would give you one in person if we lived in the same town. Go easy on yourself. You are hurting. Remind yourself that it takes time to heal.