Hi Ashley, the truest test of a friend and how good a friend they really are are times like these. So you have messed up nothing!! Remember nothing!!
But you know, maybe give her the benefit of the doubt for now. She may really care about you, but not know what to say to you, or be afraid of saying the wrong thing to you, maybe she's a little lost on what she can do to help. So perhaps let her know how you're feeling and a little more about what you've been going through. And help her to understand a bit better, give her the chance to be there for you, as she may actually really want that. Maybe an e-mail, maybe a letter, maybe a card, maybe a telephone all, whatever you feel most comfortable with.
Of course she's married now as well, so kind of obligatory to let her know you're happy for her!! So you can throw that in as well and talk a little about how it's going. Then maybe agree when you'll catch up with each other again, so you're not waiting/wondering. And you know she might be a bit wrapped up with her husband so.......it may give her a reminder.
As for worrying about not being the same person you were before, chances are you aren't going to be that but I'd say that you're probably becoming a much better person!!
I mean you're now really insightful, you are an inspiration to others, you're really open, honest, caring, empathetic and some of that has to have come from the places you've been!!
And maybe you can improve the connection with your friends a bit more with more communication, you've done that before when you were feeling even worse remember!! But the one's who are really going to matter will stand out. If it doesn't go that way though the most important thing is you can have new friends in your own time.
And this bit "i've worked so hard to build with this person", that's alright you don't have to work so hard in finding new friends/building new friendships. People should like you for who you are anyway. And Ashley, there is a lot to like about you regardless, alright?!!
Alison