while it would be good coparenting for you to meet their mother, the fact that mom is making such a big deal about never meeting is creating anxiety for the kids, therefore any situation in which the two of you could meet would create anxiety for them because they would be put in the position of wanting to honor their mothers wishes of never wanting to meet you. it is best not to push it. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome