both are irrelevant. I was programmed from childhood to believe I couldn't get a boyfriend because I was fat, but I don't think I am ugly. where I work, I see a large number of people on a daily basis. and yes, I judge. how do other fat ugly people get husbands if I cant? mentally ill people are in relationships all the time. I see all sorts. I do believe it has to do with self esteem. I don't believe I am worthy of a relationship because that is what I have been told all my life, therefore im not in one. if I felt better about myself, I am sure I could be in a relationship.