((((((((((Sidony))))))))))

I hope things get better for you! It all hurts so much right now, but it'll get better with time. I hope you have smoe friends that you can lean on right now. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.

As for me, I'm doing good. Trying to keep a positive attitude, keeping myself busy. It all seems to be helping. Today, my ex asked to talk to me. She wanted to tell me that she was changing rooms. Also that she was receiving opinions from friends, opinions that she thought was wholly uncalledfor. I just feel bad for her because she's doing what she thinks is right, but some of our friends don't understand her behaviour. But the truth is, she doesn't explain her story because she feels like she doesn't have to. I understand her point of view, but I don't in another way. She's surprised by some friends behaviour because they seem to be blasting her for the decisions she's made, yet when it gets down to it, she won't give them her reasons. So, they side with me. She doesn't like this because she thinks it's unfair of them to choose sides. It's just so frustrating, but I guess I'll have to learn to get over her reactions and hope one day she'll open up to her friends.

On a different note, everything seems ok between us now. We're able to talk no problem, and it looks like we're on the road to a good recovery. I'm just scared for me. I know that in the future, when she's alot better and I'm alot better, I'm going to want to pursue another relationship with her. Don't get me wrong though, everything I'm doing right now is for myself. I want to get better and become a more positive person, but I still want to go back out with her. With my new outlook, I want to go towards life, so in the end I won't have any regrets. I want to pursue another relationship because I don't want to be sitting in my rocking chair, years from now wondering what might have been. I want to attempt it with her again. I think that if we're both very balanced with ourselves, we could start a new relationship and see where it takes us. I made a mistake by telling her my thoughts on this. She didn't know what to say. She didn't think I would ever talk to her again, let alone date her, after she acted so negatively towards me. She said that there is a very slight chance that it might happen, but she would just want to be friends with me in the future. I want to fight for her love though, like I said, I don't want any regrets. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Should I be feeling this way? Is it a good idea if I try to get back together with her? Sorry for the long entry, but I'm struggling with this decision. Who knows, maybe I should just wait until the time seems right.