I do it too and it feels terrible. I think, for me, it is deeply tied to shame and sometimes I feel guilt/shame for even existing and taking up space. It is then that I feel I should deprive myself- of food, of comfort, of genuine empathy. I don't know how this ever started.
Just a deep shame for ever needing anything. Why did I ever think I was worthy of goodness?

That's where my thinking guides me. I have to comfort and soothe myself because no external person/thing will ever fill that gaping hole except for me.

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