I still must deal with my ex due to children, and visitations of the children. No matter, the past and struggles, dismissing his relevance, in my life, as he'll be intertwined one way or another, think graduations, weddings, major illnesses God forbid of kids, though somedays he annoys me more than others, the reality is it was an up down, roller coaster of a relationship, seems illogical.
Did he respect me, when he showed hateful behaviors? No.

Part of letting go, of the ideal of loving another, is recognizing love isn't meant to cause pain, in the way love/hate relationships do. Respect yourself enough to recognize that you deserve better than a dysfunctional relationship.

If she's not responding to you wanting her, in your life, be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself, recognize your needs aren't met, with this one.

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