I don't understand how I could possibly think of someone so much as I do with my T. Its like every time I see her my feelings for her intensify and change and become something that I certainly do NOT want. I am not a lesbian but she has made me seriously consider if I could be with her. I just want to see her and talk with her and get to know her so much more that it kills me when I have to leave from our weekly session. I find I just stare at her in session, I literally get lost in her it freaks me out. I will smile just so she will smile back at me. I love her smile, I love when her eyes smile when her mouth smiles. She is so sweet and kind and helpful to me. She has called me beautiful, sweet, brave, intelligent, kind, and a people pleaser. She told me today she likes how I will never call on her for being wrong that I care for others before myself. Ive been seeing her for about a year, and ive made great progress but I feel like my feelings (whatever they are) are getting in the way of my life. I literally will drive by her house just to see if shes at home or not. I will email her like everyday just to get a response from her. Sometimes I even lie and say something is urgent when it isn't. I wish I was brave enough to call her and tell her I need to talk to her right now, but im scared of her saying shes busy or I have to make an appointment. I have told her in the past about my feelings about her, that id like to have her as a mother or to live with her. She didn't really address the issue just that it was my anxiety needing reassurance from her. I don't really feel comfortable telling her everything ive said here because I don't really understand my feelings and I am embarrassed by them immensely. I cant talk about serious things in therapy, so we just literally chit chat and waste and hour. I am ultimately afraid of her terminating me because of my feelings for her. I have cried of the thought of her leaving me. I just cant think about that right now.