Let's start out by saying I am fed up with myself. Honestly,if there is a God,he made me by mistake or as a cruel joke. Socially I am as awkward as they come and my life is just a string of disappointments and failures. Even when I was growing up I was picked on relentlessly and was told often to kill myself because I didn't matter. Even now I don't matter. Nobody listens when I talk and I always feel like I am in the way. I drag everyone down,and even at only 22 years old I feel like my life is pretty much a waste and I am a waste of space. I feel guilty taking up mass and breathing everyone's air. I don't even deserve the good things I do have. I'm going nowhere in life and I will never truly be what I want to be. I'm tired of smiling and trying to find the best in every situation. I'm seriously considering just ending me...even when I am riding in a car, I wish a car would hit the passenger side and just kill me instantly. I just make the world a worse place. Honestly, if I were to die or just disappear, everyone and everything would be better because of it.