I forgot to mention this last post, but again, im going to dare to be vulnerable (ish) tomorrow. Last session while we were processing a mini drawing of some csa I drew, we took a mini break, and she asked me , what no previous therapists, or anyone irl, has ever asked.

A question so, simple, to many, yet so significant and moving to me, I wanted to hear myself respond to this question out loud to see what it felt like.

She said sweepy, did your mom ever tell you she loved you , like a child deserves to be told? Did she ever hold you or hug you?

I was fighting emotions, as I answered no to both, but I felt such a powerful release, because it finally happened, I know its part of her job, but it didnt feel that way.

Tomorrow I will find the courage to tell her, for the first time, I felt safe, and a bit closer to her in that moment.