Please don't...if she has hurt me in any way (unintentionally), I know it's only because she cares about me so much and feels really guilty that her benign childhood tale upset me so much and she doesn't want to risk upsetting me again, and also just the constraints of her position. There's no fault in it and there's no need to speak ill of her. I saw the look on her face when I told her that; she was very, very distressed that she might have unintentionally done something to hurt me. She is being careful now. Misguided? Yes. Malicious? A reflection of her competence? A moral failing? Absolutely not.