I have a similar idea that I am terrible at life and bring the depression and i fall apart easier than others. I'm feeling pretty bad though so not sure if its me or the depression talking. I get disasociated with reality in my last few black depressions. I think it's some learned helplessness but it cripples me and I feel paralyzed and intensely alienated in social situations or when I'm not with 'safe' people. When I'm stable this isnt like me at all. Like im two different people.