Thanks Grim, but I'm well aware of the ethics code. I'm not saying I expect her in my life as a friend (or more). While I would love this, I understand it's not allowed. I do not , however , think there Is any law against writing a letter/email every once in a while. And yes I do believe she would like to stay in touch. I never said it was rational ....but if you look at "The 5 stages of grief" you'll see that Anger is number three on the list. She has said herself "I'd be worried if you weren't a little angry at me." So I won't belittle myself over those feelings, they're a natural reaction to losing someone you love.