Well, tomorrow is the day. It is my very first day at my new job. As of right now I am trying my best not to psych myself out about it. I want to continue to be excited. I don't want to begin over-thinking and over-analyzing everything that could possibly go wrong.

But it doesn't mean those thoughts aren't present at all.

They're in the back of my mind now. But I know when I wake-up in the morning they're going to be even more present and alive. I'm scared. I'm an anxious wreck. I don't want to mess up and be looked at as a failure. It's taken me way too long to even begin to think of myself as decent. The thought of failing and disappointing my coworkers makes my anxiety even worse.

I know everything is probably going to be fine--I'll mess up a couple of times and I'll ask questions when I'm confused. I just wish that I could make myself believe that I'm okay with that, that I'm okay with messing up. It's normal. If only, if only I could absorb that information and truly accept it.