I'm a nice one too, there's almost no length I'm willing to go to "steal my bf's heart"...

So no, you don't have to be a manipulative b1tch to be liked or loved. But like Hankster said, we have to learn how to recognize the partners who will be a good match for us, and not just fall willy nilly at the feet of those who pay us attention.

My personal issue (besides bpd) in my relationship? Is that I get so wrapped up in my own needs, how to get them met (in a non needy way) how to communicate what I'm experiencing without seeming off putting, that I barely stop to notice exactly HOW my behaviour may be conflicting toward HIS needs in our relationship.

Tough pill to swallow, but whoop, there it is.
I don't always realize how I impact him and it sometimes makes me look inconsiderate when that's so obviously NOT my character.
I think it must be very confusing for bf indeed...



I've followed your saga with your guy, and I'm sorry things are taking a turn down hill, but I have a feeling that part of the reason he tells you to chill is because he was expecting a "no expectations" setup, yet you frequently ask to spend time and nights with him. Which is the opposite of a "see you when I see you" casual setup. Our behaviour is very telling, even when we think its not...

I hope you start feeling better soon, you are not unlovable, you just haven't met the man who can love you as you are yet.