I know, i don't want to deliberately hurt her feelings but i want to be able to acknowledge and respect my own feelings, which are that i don't want to say thank you to her, i don't feel she's been a very good mum especially lately. I want to honor my own feelings and emotions, like i've been encouraged to do my my therapist. But it's that push pull thing, where i'm trying to be emotionally healthy for myself but i still have part of me who would never want to hurt my mothers feelings.