Has your Z dose been stable? Has it been increased and reduced in past, based on symptoms or has it just been increased gradually over time?

Whitetaker claims APs taken long term make things worse. I read that the brain just compensates for what the drug blocks, hence your symptoms will appear again after time, even if the drug worked for some time.

From what I read in your posts, lots of your problems stem from your past experiences, self-esteem/self-worth issues... as for hallucinations and stuff, it depends if you can find other ways to deal with them or find ways to increase your distress tolerance.

However sedation is tricky. From my experiments with various substances, I know the bothersome thoughts are usually the last to go... only after losing some ability to think straight. Maybe it's different for you, but it's something to think about. Does the Z dull you overall, including ability to use your brain to reason and rationalize? Or does it just take the edge off?