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GardenLady59 · Mar 26, 2014, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brokenentity

I feel 'cheated', 'ripped off'. I want everything back, I regret telling him about personal stuff, so I want it back . but I have no control over other people.

I don't care about his friendship anymore, but I want all my confessions back.

I feel like I'm disposable, like people can use me and dispose me whenever they feel like it.

I'm a person, not a piece of paper.

Hope you are braced, because I'm going to give it to you straight. You cannot undo conversations. You can not un-give love and confidences shared. You are not going to get any of your secrets back from him, and you are not going to be thrown out like crumpled paper. He cannot do that as he doesn't have that kind of power! You have given a life to this thing. It's not real. It's not alive. It's over. Let it be over.

Here is what is possible and here is what you can do: Make choices about how you handle yourself now and and let the future come when it does. You can't exactly plan when another person may enter it and the chemistry between you softens or hardens your heart. But believe me, your own bitterness now only works to harm you. It doesn't hurt him one bit. He doesn't have the capacity to give and share at this time (and perhaps he never will --we don't have any way to know). Let him go and save yourself the pain. You are not the first to have your heart stomped and you won't be the last.

Someone mentioned writing in a journal. Do it if it helps. But wallow in it all and analyze it too long and you will drown in your own sorrows. We all get it. And not just from friends but also from family. It happens. It's human nature to hurt and be hurt. It's the harsh reality of living and taking a chance to make friends.

In time and with maturity, hopefully comes wisdom and discernment. Knowing who is trustworthy and who is just there for fun and nothing heavy. I have been where you are, and it hurts like no other pain. But trust me, you can and you will get over it if you are even half the fighter you seem to be. Go punch a bag at the gym everyday for a while if you have to. Possibly turn this pain into a better body!