Hi- I am glad I found this site because I could really use some impartial advice about this situation with my mom. I'm 29 and she's in her early 60's. In a nutshell, I recently found out from my dad that she has not gone to a doctor-not for physicals, not for gyno appts, not anything, in over 30 years! She appears to be in good health and takes care of herself, but still! I had suspected this years ago when I still lived at home, and brought it up to her a couple times. Each time she would get so angry, and the last time I said anything she told me to never, ever bring the subject up again. So fast forward to now, when my suspicions were confirmed, but I was still surprised by just how long it's been. The main reasons this upsets me so much is because one, her parents both had a lot of health problems, and two, she's getting to the age where regular check ups and preventive care are pretty important. I subtly tried to talk to her about it last week, and once again she got really mad. And I have tried the route of telling her I care about her and that's why I worry, etc. I have never brought it up in an accusatory way.

So, I don't know what to do. I've asked a couple friends for advice and they tell me to make her go to a doctor! This response really makes me mad because how the heck do I do that? The bottom line is she's of sound mind, and I'm not her caretaker or guardian, so I CAN'T physically force her to go to a doctor. I think I just have to drop it and accept the consequences- I just don't know how. My dad is no help- he's kind of upset about it but he will never bring it up to her. They both kind of live in denial about things in general, and don't like to deal with stuff. I want to let it go, but I also feel really guilty. I feel like when something happens in the future it'll be at least partially my fault, for not trying harder. But if keep pestering her, I mess up our relationship and we have a good relationship. My opinion is I just have to drop it and accept her decision, as much as I hate it. Any thoughts?