Thanks! Sorry you're having a hard time too I'm sure we become more needy when something upsetting happens in our lives. I'm usually needy (even though I contact my therapist only for rescheduling) but in a "better", healthier way. And I think that's ok.
This time I experienced a very distressing way to be needy though, and I don't like it. I want to make a distinction and see it as an exception due to a major rupture at home.

While I was waiting for an answer I panicked and found this brilliant way to prevent the 4th rejection of the day: emailing this other therapist (who scared me a bit actually). Well I just added to the mix. After that, my T wrote me "Sure, XX pm?". Load off my chest. I just want to go there and cry the whole time. I'll stop spamming now, promise. I really needed to vent.