Hi doggiedo, no you don't deserve that at all!!
And you know, it really isn't going to help beyond maybe that very, very brief time of doing it. What might really help though is trying to see things from a different perspective. You know we see things differently from the way you're judging yourself, so it is possible, right??
And perhaps if you could talk a little more about what's going on for you too?? Whether that's to a friend/someone close to you/a hotline or us.
But you definitely don't deserve this!!
Alison