Hi there. I would love to get some insight from people who have BD.

I had agoraphobia for 3 years (from 2001-2004). It started after I had had Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo for nearly 2 years. I was too sick to work or do much of anything. My balance was severely affected, I was dizzy, I bumped into things, fell down, the room spun when I turned my head, I got bedspins, my vision was blurred and I was nauseous and vomited a lot. It was like being extremely seasick all the time. I just stayed at home and tried to keep still and took antinauseants. Once the physical symptoms cleared up, I was afraid to leave my flat. I started having panic attacks when I tried to go out. (I had never experienced panic attacks before.) When I finally acknowledged that I had agoraphobia, treatment with Celexa, Clonazepam and CBT helped me get over it.

I went back to full-time work, but still had occasional panic attacks. They didn't interfere with my ability to do my job, though.
They weren't severe; they were just a minor annoyance (nausea, trouble swallowing).

I went off Celexa about a year ago and my anxiety didn't rebound. I found that I was mildly depressed, though, and felt very lethargic all the time. I was feeling stressed about my financial situation. It was difficult making ends meet. I had so much catching up to do after being too sick to work for 4 years and I was feeling overwhelmed.

I went back to my psychiatrist whom I hadn't seen in over a year. She had treated me for 2 years while I had agoraphobia and when I was going through the early recovery phase. At this appointment, I told her about my depression and my constant tiredness. She gave me a quiz to fill out and then told me I was bipolar. She wanted me to take Seroquel so she could see if she "was right" about her diagnosis. I read about the side effects. I was feeling lethargic and sad. Seroquel did not seem like the solution for that and I was sure I wasn't bipolar. I decided I didn't want to be her guinea pig, so I didn't take the medication. The depression started to lift a bit and I was getting some of my energy back, so I went back to her a few weeks later and told her that I hadn't taken the Seroquel. She told me that the fact that I was feeling marginally better was a "red flag" that I was bipolar. I told her I wouldn't be making any more appointments with her.

So, what I'm wondering is why she would tell me I'm bipolar. I've dealt with depression off and on since I was in my 20s (it runs in my family). The anxiety problem lasted for 3 years and then got better. I have never had a manic episode. I've never had an episode of pressured speech. I'm a very predictable person. I'm always very careful with money. I'm very careful in general. I have never done anything remotely "risky." I don't do things impulsively. I'm the opposite of impulsive. I'm a worrier and I'm very CAUTIOUS. I'm more calm and even-keeled and safety-conscious than most people I know.

Some of the things on the quiz I checked YES for were:

feeling more self-confident sometimes
having more energy sometimes
not needing much sleep sometimes
feeling happier than usual for no reason sometimes

Wouldn't most people answer YES to those? I would be a zombie if I was exactly the same every day. I feel happier and more self-confident and more energetic when I'm not depressed... and sometimes I'm just in a good mood. It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes I'm downright cheerful.

I talked to my friends and family and my GP and they all agreed that they have never seen any signs of mania OR hypomania in my behaviour. My GP has known me for 14 years and she told me she thought it was irresponsible for my psychiatrist to give me that diagnosis. She was as confused as I was. I had seen the psychiatrist for 2 years and not once did she suggest BD. As soon as I got mildy depressed, though, that's the diagnosis she came out with -- within 10 minutes of talking to me that day.

I am now taking 20mg/day of Lexapro (started taking it for depression after the suicide of my uncle). The depression has lifted and the panic attacks have completely disappeared. I have a very busy, demanding career and I'm handling it very well. Anxiety doesn't control any aspect of my life anymore.

I'm just wondering why my psychiatrist would give me a BD diagnosis. Am I missing something? I try not to think about it, but I'm a natural worrier. Are there other symptoms of BD that I don't know about?

Thanks in advance for any insight you can offer. Sorry for the UBER long post.