I just could not eat today either than a few crackers. I knew that if I ate, I would just end up throwing up forever. My stomach is way to sore right now from all the purging and laxatives. I just took a hand full more. Its really so stupid but I can't stop. I am really thinking about going to my doctor and kicking, screaming, yelling and begging for help. I just have to be honest or I am going to die and I am worried about my behaviors. I am depressed and I think about death but what will it solve if I end my life? I am so confused. One minute I want to leave this world then the next I want to fight so hard to keep my head above water. Its like the two guys sitting on your shoulder. One tells you to fight for your life and the other says "whats the point". I will ponder this for the time being and try to convince myself to just go and see my doctor. I dont know how they could possibly help a screwed up freak like me. I will try.
Elizabeth