I just need to get this off my chest.

I often have love-issues , with often i mean always.
The past 6 months I have fallen in love with the total wrong person again, and I should have known better by now, but clearly I don't.
It's the third time in a row in three years, and it's the first time I can't seem to get away from him. It drives me totally crazy. And before this I was pretty much stable, but now, I once again drank myself completely wasted, ran away from the bar where he was, into the night, wishing to destroy myself.

And I've been working with him for the past 3 months, after everything went wrong (offcourse) and I cannot stand it anymore. I want to hurt him so much for what he has done to me, and I don't even know if he has actually done something, I just feel completely lost. I'm trying to avoid him, I'm trying to never see him again, but we have to work toghether and have the same friends and I'm losing it again.

And i'm sorry for the rant, and I know it doesn't really say anything, but I need to get it out. I've been holding this in for months, and I'm done.
I've lost so much weight again, I'm hurting myself, I'm putting all my energy in focussing on my work, but he ruined it. He hurt me, so much, and I want to hurt him back and there is nothing I can do, and it drives me crazy.
I feel so angry and hurt.

I'm sorry, really, I know this doesn't actually say anything, but I feel so much hate, anger and desperation that I need to find a way to say it to something. And that happens to be here. Sorry.