OMG, yes... i did this growing up. Anyone i really really liked/loved i deliberately stayed away from, was aloof and just didn't reveal how i felt and as a result they didn't know and other kids would get attention cos they'd ask for it, go to that person for hugs etc. I was too ashamed to try and get some attention for myself or ask for hugs or for nurturing, i would have rather died.

I'm getting a bit better at it now because i am aware of why i did it and i am better at expressing myself now. But it feels sad to think that as a child i deliberately denied myself any warmth or caring.