Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
OMG, yes... i did this growing up. Anyone i really really liked/loved i deliberately stayed away from, was aloof and just didn't reveal how i felt and as a result they didn't know and other kids would get attention cos they'd ask for it, go to that person for hugs etc. I was too ashamed to try and get some attention for myself or ask for hugs or for nurturing, i would have rather died.
I'm getting a bit better at it now because i am aware of why i did it and i am better at expressing myself now. But it feels sad to think that as a child i deliberately denied myself any warmth or caring.
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I did this even more when I was a kid...I always wanted hugs from my kindergarten teacher, which she gave out whenever a kid initiated it but she would never initiate them herself. I was always too shy to go up and give her a hug, and instead I just pretended I didn't care and looked down my nose at all the other kids who went to her every morning for hugs. So then she thought I was independent and didn't need hugs or care, when really I needed those things most of all.