I feel ****ing rejected as to having a social life,

I just had to get rid of my two best friends people that just were in no way shape or form good for me in anyway...
and I want badly to meet a group of my boyfriends friends cause I am tired of only spending time with him ...

and him alone, well I am starting to realize that me not having any other friends any more to go to and see or hang out with is causing a lot of damage onto me and him...

it feels like all I do any more is go to work and work, I don't do anything for myself aside from see my boyfriend and that does not seem like a good balance of things any more and I am trying horribly so not to let it get to me to not feel hurt or rejected by it...but it does make him feel lowly and terrible and I am tired of holding it in....

I am tried of faking that everything in life is ok when it is ******.....

I hide the side of my self I show on this site from everyone else.....and I wish i did not have too I wish I could be myself and that people knew how I truly was....I am tired of being alone and not having anyone to do things with...I know I have social anxiety but I am tired of this telling me how I can or can't handle things in my life.