I also see a cumulative escalation of what he wants from our sex life with no improvement in the way he treats me on a day to day basis. We were vanilla for the first few years, then he introduced lingerie, then came the hooker shoes, and now he's forging ahead with the strap-ons. What's next, a threeway? I thought if I went along with all of it, he'd be happier with me in general (not true - he still doesn't hesitate to snarl at me when I do something to annoy him), and would have no reason to pursue encounters with men. I guess I wonder why I have to be his sexual plaything if I'm not going to be the one and only.

On the other hand, if I don't provide what he needs, does he have the right to look elsewhere for it? What right do I have to expect him to change something so fundamental in him? Where/how does one draw that line in a marriage? I just don't see how it's possible for us to stay together. I'm not willing to go as far as he wants, and he's pretty much proven he's not willing to give up trying to meet CDs for sex. When push comes to shove he'll say he loves me, but is this how you treat someone you love?