Wow, that sounds pretty miserable. I'm assuming that you'd be happier on your own, but maybe not. I'm only reading what you wrote and don't know about the other reasons you've stayed in this marriage so long, so please take this with a grain of salt.

I can understand feeling sort of trapped because you're scared of the financial hit, but that part will probably be a lot less painful that you expect it to be. You're used to living a low cost, low maintenance lifestyle already. You can do it. Maybe think of it is in terms of paying a happiness fee?

A crappy job is only 40 hours a week. A crappy marriage is all the time. Maybe you can swing a more part time job and live off the money from the sale of the boat and the split of retirement assets until you hit 62?

What kind of advice would you give to someone else in your situation? My boyfriend's mother stayed with her abusive, alcoholic, narcissist husband because he was a good provider. She's still stuck with him and will probably drop dead before he does from the stress of dealing with him.

My mother chose the scary route and worked three jobs the first year she was divorced. I can't tell you how much better life was then, even though we were much, much poorer-- and we didn't stay that way. Within a few years, she was making more money than he did